


Christmas '91

by PeechBerry



Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Holiday Cheer :), M/M, Post-Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, TED HAS NEVER SEEN SNOW ALSO, Ted is the tallest person they've ever seen probably, Ted just wants a snow day, This is a nice happy one i promise, bill is the oldest cousin and the rest are all little babies, bill is the tallest in his family, bill wears glasses for some of it, bill's dad is nice about it too, everyone in the family thinks theyre such a cute couple, give this boy some snow, he's got a bunch of aunts, im gonna stop now before i spoil the whole story okay, missy is there because i like her, no sex tho, sorry fam, ted drinks too much Baileys, ted wears a bow tie, they wear santa hats
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28331280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeechBerry/pseuds/PeechBerry
Summary: Bill usually spends the holiday season with his mom's side of the family, but now that he lives with Ted, he isn't about to leave him to spend Christmas alone. This year, however, he's going to be introduced differently. Not as a friend, but... a boyfriend :)They make the sixteen-hour drive up to Bill's grandparents house in Washington and stay in a very cute cabin down the street, and its a big fun holiday time.Content Warnings: there's alcohol, there's a lot of food (Family Christmas, ya know?) and Bill's grandparents talk about their weight but not in a mean-spirited way. Also low key imply that Ted's dad is abusive, I feel like that's standard at this point.
Relationships: Ted "Theodore" Logan/Bill S. Preston Esq.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	1. RSVP

**Author's Note:**

> happy holidays everyone i love u <3

Ever since he picked up the phone, Bill’s hand had been shaking, and he was on the verge of tears. “...Well, I’m trying to schedule my visit up to see you guys, and I wanted to bring my best friend Ted… I know it would be fine, I just… Yeah. I need to be honest with you all about something…”

Ted handed him a tissue and squeezed his hand.  _ He’s really going to risk all this for me…? _

“So Ted… Ted and I are going to stay nearby in a really cute cabin… It’s on the same block, we can walk right over in like, five minutes. He’s never had a snowy Christmas, so I wanna make it special for him… Yes, he’s very excited. Especially to meet all of you guys… But, um… Ted’s not going to be coming with me  _ just  _ as my friend… He’s actually my, uh… I’ve…” He cleared his throat and rubbed his face with his left hand. “I’ve been dating him for the past few months, actually, almost… It’s been official since the summer. We’re, like, a couple.” 

Ted tried to look away, he knew this would be the wrong time to stare directly at him, as if he wasn’t already under so much pressure.

“Mmhmm… Of course, yeah.” Bill looked up at him and Ted immediately stared back. “Yeah, I really love him. He’s real special. He does  _ kinda  _ have family to spend the holidays with but… Me and him are like a family of our own now. I wanna share this with him.”

Ted felt his face turn red, and he could see the smile start to unfurl on Bill’s lips. 

“He’s a very polite dude. I’m sure you’ll all love him… Yeah, we’ll bring desserts! I mean… We can’t keep anything cold because of the drive up, but… I know, I know… I love you too. I can’t wait to see you all.” He hung up the phone and Ted noticed the tears starting to dry on his cheeks. “Plans are still on…” Ted hugged him and kissed his cheek, beaming with excitement. “Ted, can you make amoretti cookies…?”

“What did they say, dude?!” 

“My Aunt Josie said… you’re always welcome.” He dried his eyes again, but never stopped smiling. “She lives with my grandparents, and she said if anyone else has a problem with it, she’ll handle it…”

“That’s so awesome!”

“Yeah. Now I just need to call into work… and then we can officially book our cute little cabin.” Ted pulled him into his lap and he kissed him on the nose and held his face in his hands. “It’ll be the best, Ted. I’m gonna teach you how to make a snowman, and I’m gonna teach you how to get hit with dozens of snowballs…”

“What? No way, not if I get you first.”

“Okay, but when we get up there, you should know, I have half a dozen little cousins and they’ll be on  _ my  _ side, so don’t get cocky.”


	2. Christmas Eve-Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're hitting the road on Day 1 of their holiday trip up to see Bill's family :)

“So… I have… six little cousins. Little as in like… five and younger. Two are toddlers, and one’s a brand new baby. And then there’s three other ones who are teens.”  
“So you’re the oldest cousin?”  
“Yeah, I am.”  
“That’s so cool. You’re like the big brother to nine little kids.”  
“Yeah… It’s not that cool. I don’t know how to really interact with kids. The little ones just see me as another grown up and the teenagers just think I’m a total dork. Plus… Eight of them are girls, and there’s only one other boy, Josh. He thinks I’m a loser.”  
“Aw, that’s just how teens are.”  
“Yeah, I know. Anyway, my mom was the second-oldest, but she’s got four other sisters… They’re like, typical aunts. They’ll probably ask if I'm gonna go to college even though I’ve told them no, I’m 21, they’ll probably ask when we’re gonna get real jobs, but in a less rude way… Just normal nosy family stuff.”  
“Ohh.” Ted stared out the window. They had plenty of tapes in the car, but the radio was tuned to holiday music for the time being. At least until we start hearing the same songs over and over. Bill had said.  
“My dad’s probably gonna be there too. So we can just stick with him if you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s a lot of strangers at once.”  
“I’m very excited. I think I’ll be okay.”  
They were still in the warmer part of California, but Bill already had a scarf over his t-shirt. As a part of Bill’s final Hanukkah gift the week before, Ted had gotten 25 prints of a design Bill had made into Wyld Stallyns shirts that they could sell after next year’s Battle of the Bands… If they could get in. And of course, they took two for themselves.  
“So, if this is mostly your mom’s side, what do they all do for Hanukkah?”  
“Well, we can’t spend all month up there, it’s too expensive. So we all just celebrate Hanukkah separately, and then spend Christmas and New Years all together, since that’s when the kids are off from school. Most of them don’t even live up there, we just like to have a snowy holiday season, you know?”  
“Totally.” Ted crossed his arms and glanced over. “So… When will we get to the snowy part?”  
“Not anytime soon. We’ve only been on the road for two hours…” He grinned, keeping his eyes forwards at the busy road. “You’ll see it, dude. At the very least, you’ll feel it start to get cold.”  
“Oh, yeah… I guess I’ll feel it get freezing cold…”  
“Yeah, it probably won’t be noticeable until we stop for the day, right before we get out of California.”  
Ted yawned and crossed his arms. “I like hearing you talk about your family, but would you be bummed out if I took a nap?”  
“No way, dude, that’s fine. I know driving makes you sleepy. I’ll wake you up next time we stop, though, so you can get a snack or take a pee break or whatever.”  
“That sounds good to me.”

“Ted.” Bill was leaning into the open passenger side door. “Babe, wake up.” He got in halfway and kissed his cheek. “We’re at a rest stop, dude. Need something?”  
“Hm…” Ted yawned and held Bill’s arms at his elbow. “How long was I sleeping for?”  
Bill picked up Ted’s wrist and looked at his watch. “Three hours.”  
“Holy shit.”  
“I know, dude! Time is flying. I was jamming to one of your tapes. After you crashed, I heard ‘Deck The Halls’ four times in one hour, so I finally started paying a tape once we got to a stoplight.” He unbuckled Ted’s seatbelt and helped him out of the van. “Do some jumping jacks or something, you gotta keep moving so you don’t sleep the whole way there. Then you won’t be able to get to sleep once we stop for the night.” He stretched his arms out and Ted turned around to look at the signs of what they had available at the rest stop.  
“They got a food court here, dude.”  
“Wanna get something?”  
“Yeah, kinda.”  
Bill tossed him his wallet. “Get me a shake, please.”  
“What if they don’t have any?”   
“French fries.”  
He sat in Ted’s seat in the van with the door open. The air wasn’t the familiarly warm and breezy beach air he was used to. The temperature was normal, but the wind was chilly. It actually made him remember his scarf and pull it tighter around his neck.   
He pulled a water bottle from the case they had in the back and flipped over the tape he had in the tape player. A pair of black sunglasses rested on his head. After a while, Ted came back with two shakes, and two cups of fries.   
“The french fries looked super good, so I just got both.”  
“An excellent decision.” He hopped out of the passenger seat and back into the front seat. “What kinda shake did you get?”  
“Mint chip, dude.”  
Bill was staring at his shake cup. “What kind did you get me?”  
“Strawberry with whipped cream and a cherry on top.”   
“Nice. I couldn’t tell with the whipped cream…” He bit the end off his straw and - at the same time - he and Ted blew the paper wrappers at each other.   
“Hey!”  
Ted’s straw wrapper got stuck between Bill’s sunglasses and his curls. “Alright, that was pretty funny.” He pulled the paper off his face and tossed it on the floor. “Don’t eat all that too fast, Ted. You’ll get a tummy ache, and then we’ll have to stop early because I’ll feel bad for you.”  
Ted rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know.”  
“Just looking out for you, babe.”  
“I know!” He whined, leaning back and crossing his legs. “I’m not even super hungry, that’s why I just got two smalls.”  
“Okay. If you get hungry, we can always stop somewhere else.”  
“Okie dokie.” Bill finished his food in about ten minutes, but Ted took a little bit longer, especially because Bill was also making him drink water. “Bill, you can start driving again, I can eat while you drive. It’ll save time.”  
“Nah dude, no rush. Take your time.”  
“If I drink all that water, I’ll have to pee again in one hour.”  
“Well, if you don’t drink any water, you’ll feel sick from drinking a whole shake. You’re a string bean. Speaking of which, you should take another Dramamine, it’s been like seven hours.”  
“Okay, I will.” He got up and picked up the trash from Bill’s food. “I’ll throw all this out, then we can go.”  
Bill crossed his arms and waited for him to get back. “You didn’t even finish your fries, dude.”  
“I know, I just don’t wanna be behind schedule.”  
“Okay, that’s fine. Take your Dramamine, then we’ll go.” He flicked his sunglasses back down and took off his scarf.  
“It’s gonna make me fall asleep again”  
“That’s fine. I can drive if you’re sleepy, I can’t drive if you’re carsick, that would be very cruel to do.” He started to put the van in reverse.  
“Yeah, but…” He gazed over at Bill and half-smiled with his head back. “I feel like I’m missing out on this cute road trip you planned for us. It’s kinda sad… We’ve been driving for five hours and I was only awake for the first two, I missed three hours of… Looking out the window and talking to you.”  
“It’s okay. You can see it all when we drive back down next week. Most of it’s pretty boring though, the really pretty scenery is when we get into Oregon and Washington. And it’s okay if you’re asleep for the driving part. I get to spend a whole week with you on an actual trip. That’s the fun part.” Once he got on a thin strip of road with few other vehicles on it, he held Ted’s hand. “And it’s enough just to have you here. You don’t have to talk. I get to look at you in the mirror, and hear you snoring, and I get to wake you up when we’re stopped in the middle of nowhere to get snacks. That’s still great, in my opinion.”  
Ted beamed. “You’re so good at making me feel super happy, dude…”  
“Good. So take your pill, take a nap, and I’ll wake you whenever.” He tapped his hands against the wheel as a new song started up on the tape. “I mean, so far… This is still the best road trip I’ve ever had.”

They’d stopped driving at around ten at night. Bill was exhausted, collapsing into bed at the motel before they even checked for bedbugs.  
“Dude! Get up right now!” Ted pulled him up and laid a quilt down on top of the discolored sheets. “We are not sleeping on those gross sheets. We brought the van-quilt to sleep on, for a reason.”  
“Right, right…” Bill collapsed again, and Ted helped him take his shirt and shorts off, then pulling off his sneakers.   
“Want your socks off?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Okay.” He took his shirt and shoes off too, and laid next to him, with Bill immediately throwing his arm around his chest. “God, it’s way too hot in here.”  
“Yeah, it is.” Bill muttered. “We can shower tomorrow morning though, it’s fine if we get all sweaty.”  
“Yeah…” Ted gently tangled his fingers in his hair.  
Bill was already snoring. Ted was always incredibly grateful to be so much taller than him. He was the perfect size. He could look down and watch his eyes twitch in his sleep, watching his dark blonde eyelashes move, just barely fluttering with each movement of his eyes.   
He was simply the heaviest sleeper Ted knew. He could fall asleep on his chest and never move once. Not to roll over, not to change positions, nothing at all. He could count on him snoring, too, every night. It wasn’t obnoxious, though. It was a higher pitched noise than he’d expected when they first moved in together, and he soon realized that it was just the most perfect cadence to fall asleep to. Bill was like a personal metronome. The only time his snoring ever halted was when he managed to talk in his sleep, which was always very funny. But most of the time he just made little whining noises in the back of his throat. Ted didn’t know why, and Bill didn’t know what he was talking about when he mentioned it.  
Sometimes he’d talk to Bill while he was asleep, just sort of hoping he’d reach him in his dreams or something. He knew he could be honest with Bill while he was awake, at least now. But sometimes he felt overly-sappy and wanted to wait until he was sleeping to gush about how gorgeous he was, or how much he loved him, or how they were such total soulmates or I just feel so lucky to have found you at all, dude.  
Bill’s hands tightened around him and he whimpered, but didn’t move. His brow furrowed slightly until Ted placed his hand on his cheek. “Love you, babe.”  
Bill made another small noise and continued snoring.


	3. Christmas Eve (On The Road)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second day of the trip... and Ted finally gets to see some snowflakes.

They skipped their showers again in the morning.  
They were both looking forward to a nice shower, but once they looked inside the shower… A unanimous decision was silently made to wait a few more hours until they got to the cabin.  
Ted had noticed the brisk air as soon as the doors in the lobby opened. “Holy smokes! It’s so cold, dude!”  
“The weather says it’s forty degrees.”  
“That’s wild…”  
“Dude, that’s not even cold enough for snow! You’re in for a freezing cold holiday season, Ted.” He opened the side of the van and pulled a sweater out of his bag, then hastily pulled it over Ted’s head. It was purple, blue, and black, and the pattern was… unique. “Aw, I never get to see you in winter clothes, Ted! You look so cute!” He squeezed him around his middle, then kissed cheek. “God, wait until I get you a pair of mittens, and earmuffs…”   
Ted giggled and pulled himself into the front seat, already prepared to nap.  
“Wanna stop and get breakfast first?”  
“I don’t need anything, unless you want something?”  
“I might stop somewhere. I’m hungry.” He placed his glasses on the bridge of his nose. “You gonna nap?”  
“Probably… Yes.”  
“You and I need to get on the same sleep schedule once we get there.”  
“You’re only driving half as much as yesterday though. You’ll have some energy  
when we get there, and we can have a shower, and then we can cuddle and smooch.” He muttered.  
“Well, yes, for a bit. But then we gotta go to my grandparents place, remember? It’s Christmas Eve, Ted. We gotta go give gifts.”  
“Woah… It’s really Christmas Eve already.”  
“Yeah! We do a secret Santa thing because it’s just not reasonable for everyone to buy gifts for everyone. I did yours for you - you’re welcome by the way - and someone else is gonna give you a gift.”  
“Who’d you get?”  
“I got my baby cousin Alfie. He was born in September. My mom’s youngest sister ” He pulled out of the motel and shivered. “Jeez, I never thought it would bother me not to have heat in this thing… We’re gonna need more sweaters.”  
Ted sank down lower in his seat beaming with the ugly purple sweater clinging to him. “Bill, you’ll wake me up when there’s snow, right?”  
“Of course, Ted. Don’t worry. I wouldn’t let you miss it.”

Ted was way deep asleep when Bill finally tapped his shoulder. “Hng… What?”  
“Look out your window, dude. It’s a little flurry.”  
Ted looked to his right and smiled. “Oh, look at those little flakes. They’re so cute… I wonder what they look like stuck in your hair…”  
“They just melt when they get in my hair, Ted.”  
“No, no, I bet they stick to your curls and stay so pretty…” He started to doze off again until his forehead hit the window and he shot back up “Gah!” He touched the window with his fingertips and shivered. “That’s insanely cold…”  
“Yeah, that’s the weather snow needs.”  
“Bogus. We should have warm snow…”  
“We do, dude. It’s rain.”  
“Mm… No, that’s not warm snow, that’s different…” Ted drifted off until he was half asleep again, until he felt the van slowly stop, then heard Bill put it in park. “Good morning, Bill…”  
Bill opened his door and put his hand on his knee. “Ted, open your eyes.”  
“I’m sleepy.” He felt Bill pull at the hem of the sweatshirt, then touch the hem of his jeans. “Bill, not appropriate for-” Suddenly, he jumped out of the van. “Dude!” Bill had shoved a small handful of powdery snow down the front of his pants. Before Ted could think of anything else to yell at him, he was dumbfounded by just how white everything looked. “Dude…”  
“I gotcha, dude!”  
“No, dude…” He brushed off the front of his pants. “It’s all white… The ground, the sky…. How can you even drive like this?” He stared off at the black pine trees in the distance. “If it weren’t for the trees… I can’t see where the ground ends and the sky starts…”   
“The funny thing is, this isn’t even a storm. It’s been snowing here for hours, and there’s barely four inches.” He scooped up two handfuls of fresh snow and packed them together in his hands. “Hey, step away from the van, I don’t wanna get water on our seats.”  
“Oh, yeah.” Ted closed the door and Bill immediately pelted his chest with a snowball. “Hey, you-” He sighed and flattened his mouth into a straight line. “I guess I should’ve seen that coming, actually.”  
Bill dusted off his shirt and hugged him around his waist. “I’m sorry, I have to take advantage of your naivety. But at least you’re wide awake now, huh?”  
“Yeah, thanks to a handful of snow on my crotch…”  
“Want anything from the convenience store?”  
“Uh… Something hot. Like, a pretzel or something. Whatever they have that’s hot.”  
“Okay. Stay in the van and don’t let the cold air in.” He kissed him in the empty parking lot. “Oh, and we’re in Oregon now, by the way. We’ve been in Oregon for like two hours.”  
“Oh shit, okay.” He got back in the car and peeked in the back of the van for a blanket. It was back there, he just wasn’t sure where, and if he opened the side of the van, they would never get warm. He turned the music up, and found that Bill had switched back to holiday stations. While he found the music a little stale… It was Christmas Eve. After tomorrow, all those songs would be gone for eleven more months. The familiar lyrics and verses took his mind off of his soaking wet jeans anyway.   
As Bill got back in the van, he tossed a bag of chips at Ted. “I’m sorry, they didn’t really have anything hot… And I wasn’t about to get you any coffee.” He shivered as he closed the door and placed a root beer bottle on Ted’s lap. “I’m a sucker for the old fashioned sodas in glass bottles, though. Just don’t drink it if you’re gonna have to pee right after.”  
Ted opened the bottle with his sleeve and put the cap in his pocket. “Everything looks so nice, dude. I wish I could properly enjoy my first snow day…”  
“You will! In a few more hours, you will!” Bill leaned over and kissed his cheek. “My cousins will probably all be outside playing, we can help you build a snowman or something! But… I’m not giving you any of my clothes to put on him, so… You’ll have to sacrifice one of your own scarves or hats.” He opened his soda and passed the cap to Ted, who slipped it in his pocket. “Are you going back to sleep?”  
“No way, dude…” His eyes were suddenly glued to the road ahead as Bill sped up. “It’s so pretty.” He leaned forward to see the tiny flakes brush against the windshield before floating away above the van.  
“Calm down, Ted. Your heavy breathing is fogging up all the windows!” He squinted through the steam and handed him a fistful of napkins from the past few gas station and convenience store stops. “Wipe down the windows, dude, before I get us in a wreck.”  
Ted wiped the foggy windows down and tossed the napkins on the floor. “I’m sorry, I’m just real happy to finally see it. It looks so nice.” They started to drive through the pine-dense forest, but slowed down to almost half the speed. “Why are you stopping?”  
“I just need to slow down… I can’t see the roads as well here, and there’s probably ice.” He could see Ted tense up a little bit. “Hey, don’t worry! I’m a good driver. I wouldn’t let us crash. That’s why I’m being extra careful, and that’s why we have seatbelts. Look, there’s no one else on the road to even crash into.”  
“Yeah, I know.”  
“The roads are actually pretty well-salted, for the most part. It’s all good!”  
Ted giggled. “You still have your sunglasses on.”  
“I sure do.”  
“How come? It’s snowing.”  
“You can still hurt your eyes from looking out at the snow for too long. It’s really bright, isn’t it?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Your eyes can get sun-burns, dude, if you look at it for too long. Isn’t that gross? I think that’s gross.” He snickered. “Imagine, like, when you get sunburned and your skin peels…”  
“Dude! Gross.”  
“I know! I don’t want to hurt my eyes, I gotta be able to look at you till I’m old. Or else, what’s even the point?”  
“Shut up!” Ted smacked his arm. “I think I have more exciting qualities than just my hotness. If you couldn’t see me you could still hear me, right?”  
“Yeah, but I’d have to rely on my sense of touch to be my eyes from then on.” His right arm dropped to the middle console and Ted picked it up. “Don’t put my hand anywhere weird… Like on your wet pants. I’ll crash this van so fast…”  
Instead, Ted just kissed the back of his hand and held it against his cheek. “Nah, no wet jeans, even though I’m totally gonna get you back for that.”  
“Yeah right, dude. Well… At least make sure it’s not in front of my family. They’re gonna embarrass me enough on their own, you’ll probably feel bad for me by the end of today.”  
“Ooh, am I going to hear lots of family stories? Or maybe look at little baby pictures?” He excitedly tapped his feet. “I can’t wait!”  
“Ah… probably. I’ll show you the photo albums my grandparents have. Most pictures of me aren’t that bad. Next year, you’ll be in some of the pictures, I bet. Two of my aunts always bring so much film for their cameras…”  
“Oh, I’ll try to look like a very respectable young man. Probably not in this sweater.”  
“Hey, what’s wrong with my sweater? You look cute in it.”  
“Of course I look cute. However, it is a most painful pattern to look at, and I don’t want to give your family headaches as soon as I walk in the room.”  
“Okay, okay, just say I have no sense of style while you’re at it…”  
“No, that’s not it!”  
“I’m kidding. My dad got me that last year. It’s very cozy so I kept it.”  
The flakes brushing against the window had cleared, and Ted whipped his head around to see where the snow had gone. “Dude, the snow stopped…”  
“Yeah, I think it stopped a while ago, and it was just blowing off the trees.”  
“What if it’s all gone when we get up there?”  
Bill shrugged. “I don’t think it’ll all be gone. It’ll just not be snowing. It doesn’t melt that fast.”  
“Yeah…”  
“Do not worry, my sweet southern friend. My aunt told me the snow is going to be very dense this season. Plus, don’t be hoping for snow while I’m driving. A few times, my dad had to stop right before we got into Washington because it was snowing so hard, he couldn’t see past all the flakes.”  
“Holy cow, dude.”  
“Yeah, so… Don't start hoping for snow till I’ve had a hot bath.”


End file.
